"Please Don't Hit The Ball To Me"!

With 48,000 chanting his name,
It's not really about the game.

Emotions running high,
Trying not to cry.

Not sure how the drama would end,
Then he got up to bat again.

One man on, ready for a lap,
He hit the ball, into the gap.

Hit a walk off RBI,
To break the tie.

What a way to go out.
Now it's time to shout.

His last inning plea...
"Please don't hit the ball to me!"

Changing Autumn Leaves (Shape Poem)

A Hot Gooey Mess

A warning to all spaghetti still in a box, 
There is a monster in the kitchen you need to out fox. 

If you don't want supper made from you, 
Listen up and I'll tell you what to do. 

She'll come and take you in her hand, 
This is where you make your stand. 

Between her hands and the pot, 
You'll have only one shot. 

Your only chance is to jump for the floor, 
Then try to roll under the oven drawer. 

You short pieces can sometimes make it, 
Everybody else will end up in a boiling pit. 

This plan must be a success, 
Otherwise you'll all end up a hot gooey mess. 

Cheap-o Cheap-o Airlines

Top 10 ways to know you are on a cheap airlines when:

Your boarding pass is hand written on a 3x5 card. 
The baggage wagon is pulled to the plane by a 1950 Packard.

The refueling tanker truck says Walmart on the door.
They serve Logan's peanuts and let you throw the shells on the floor.

The plane looks like a Boeing 80 Series jet but when it starts it sounds like a DC-3. 
The pilot comes on the PA and says, "Buenos dias. YO soy el Capitan Jose' Gee."

To save fuel we took off on the taxiway. 
To save Db's, easy listening is the only music they play.

The flight attendant asks you to police your area before you walk out the door.
Oh no. I just threw all of my peanut shells on the floor.

A Serious Blow

Storms come'n storms go

Last night was a serious blow

Just happy it wasn't snow

(Written for a contest. 15 words exactly, about the subject "The thunderstorm last night")

No Question About It

Social media has changed the world,
No question about it.
A new communication has been unfurled.

But it's use can be an affliction.
No question about it.
Could even become an addiction.

Social media is competing for your time in all of this.
No question about it.
Be careful it doesn't pull you into the great abyss.

You think Facebook is a time consuming life style?
No question about it.
Just wait until you have been on AllPoetry for awhile.

(This poem was written for a contest utilizing the image as a prompt.)

My Salvation

My life is about to end
I'm not afraid to die
I know I will ascend 
To my home up in the sky

This poem was written for a contest utilizing a given first line in the poem. "My life is about to end".

My Hiking Buddy

In the Sierra Nevada mountains I hike a trail
I see her coming not knowing what would entail
I slowed my pace to avoid our meeting
Wasn't even thinking of retreating

She came down to the trail on which I was walking
Looked right at me and didn't think about balking
She turned right and walked the direction I was going
I love this, I was just glowing

Once in while she would stop and nibble a flower
We hiked together for about half an hour
I was happy we had that time to share
Oh yeah, did I mention my hiking buddy was a bear

This poem was written for a contest called "Most Memorable First Encounter"

Honey, I Told You...

"Honey, I told you to call that septic tank repair guy!"

(I entered this poem into a contest utilizing this image as a prompt. My job was to create a caption for the image. I won a gold ribbon.)

Got Drunk Once

Got drunk once.
Felt like a dunce.

The Only Tree In The Yard

I stick up for myself and try real hard,
but sometimes I feel like the only tree in the yard.

I Heard Guns Are Killing Folks

I heard that guns are killing folks
So I decided to put it to the test
Sounded to me like a big hoax
But would still give it my best

Set my AR-15 outside by the front door
And set a box of ammo next to it
Worked around the front yard doing a chore
Waiting to see if this claim was legit

Was out there for about an hour
Mailman came by and a school bus
The lady next door brought me a flower
Kids came by but no one made a fuss

I didn't see that rifle move one time
It didn't even load itself
That rifle had not committed any crime
I wasn't afraid of being there by myself

So what is it with these politician dorks
Who claim guns cause all of this combat
Excuse me, I have to go check on forks
I hear that they are making people fat

We Love Our Red, White and Blue

Our flag represents all of us,
From the president to the one who drives the bus.

Our flag represents where we have been,
From our founding fathers to all those who are kin.

Our flag represents our forthcoming,
From today until Gods second coming.

Our flag represents home in a time of war,
We need something to fight for.

Desecrate our flag and you desecrate all of us,
In so many ways we could discuss.

We love our red, white and blue,
Bleach it white, then shame on you.

(Written for a contest about desecrating the US flag and bleaching it white.)

I'm Such A Poor Golfer...

I'm such a poor golfer...
- I can't mark my ball placement on the green with a quarter, they make me use a dime. 
- when I tee off, all of the spectators move behind me.
- when I am ready to putt, my caddy gives me a #4 wood.
- on a short putt, I turn my club around to make a billiard shot.
- my caddy makes me carry my clubs.
- they let me use an orange ball so I can find it easier.
- if it rains, my caddy won't give me my umbrella.
- to me, a hole in one means I just hit the ball into a spectators beer mug.
- I like to play during a thunderstorm so I have more excuses.
- for a warm up, I visit the club house lounge for an hour before my tee time.
- to me a birdie is when I accidently hit a sparrow.
- if I hit an eagle I'm running for the car.
- spectators applaud because I finally finish a hole.
- America's Funniest Home Videos shows up to broadcast my game.
- my caddy won't wear my name on his uniform. 
- to me, a slice is the serving of pie I'll enjoy in the clubhouse at the end of the day. 
- I bring a chainsaw with me to the course. 
- my friends started calling me Archy Bunker. 
- spectators applaud just because I hit the ball, not because of where I hit the ball. 
- I am such a poor golfer...that I seek spectator autographs.

(Written for a contest prompt: golf humor, 20 lines max)

Short Attention Span

Short attention span!
Written all I can!

Sure To Please

Celery stalks are good with peanut butter or cheese.
Then using the flower as a centerpiece is sure to please.

(This poem was written for a contest utilizing the prompt: celery)

Don't Let The Computer Bugs Byte

The computer knows where the migrating bug is at all times. 
It knows where it is because it knows where it was. 
By subtracting where it was from where it is, 
the computer is able to determine where it will be. 
Of course, 
if it isn't where it is, 
the error is due to where it wasn't 
and will propagate itself to where it won't be. 
Thus, the need for a Bug Filter - 
to decipher where it was from where it wasn't, 
thus allowing us to discriminate where the bug will be 
from where it won't be.

(This poem was inspired by a clever written description of a GPS satellite. Submitted into a contest with the word "bug" as a prompt.)

Through It All

When we married we were both young and strong
Little did we know then how things would go wrong

Twenty years later and we are both disabled now
We each picked up different diseases somehow

We've had to reorganize our lives a lot
Given all the changes our diseases brought

We each had careers that we enjoyed
Neither one of us is now employed

One thing that hasn't changed is our love for one another
She is still a good wife and caring mother

Looks like we are in this for the long haul
We will continue to love each other through it all

(Written for a contest about disability)

My Job Is To Open The Door

Jake will walk to the door and sit
then look at me for a bit
if I don’t get up and move
he will most certainly disapprove

(This poem was written for a contest about how my dog has trained me.)

The Poetic Police

I enjoy writing these lines
and it's good therapy too
I enjoy poetry of all kinds
It gives me something to do

Something I have learned since I started
Is that the poetic police will find you
They are all being good hearted
They all want to do a review

One said, "I'll take a quick look
And let you know what I think."
I'm like, "OK you can read my book.
Just remember. You're not my shrink."

He said, "I think they are awfully good"
Isn't that one of those oxymoron things?
I don't want to be misunderstood.
I like all the support this brings.

He said, " Your poems have casual authenticity."
What does that mean?
I know I write with simplicity.
I want to keep my writings routine.

Another person said, "I will proof read for you"
"I will send you the corrected version."
I really appreciate all that they do.
They've been helpful since I started this poetic excursion.

I'm really not trying to win any awards now.
I just jot down my thoughts as they arise,
To try to help my veteran brothers somehow.
I'm not trying to win the Nobel Peace Prize. 

I really don't care if I am missing a little dot here or there,
Or that little curvy one called a comma.
At least the poetic police really do care.
Next, I will probably hear from Barack Obama.

I Need To Get This Right

My disabled father lives with me.
He needs a bypass and a new knee.

I'm harboring a lot of animosity and disrespect.
Most of it comes from years of absence I suspect.

Stopped to visit him when I was sixty one,
To learn that he didn't think I was his son.

Imagine growing up in an atmosphere like that.
How could I possibly respect this cat?

Out of duty I have opened up my home to him.
Now my patience is running really thin.

Please God; I want to get this right.
Just help me make it through tonight.

(This poem was written for a contest about caring for our elderly parents.)

On Swearing

People who swear a lot have a limited vocabulary. 
People who swear loudly are trapped inside their own limited lives.

See You On The Bus

If I were president for a day
I'd write an executive order 
To invite the aliens in to stay
And deport the old people south of the border

At least young Hispanics can work
Old people are all liability
Spending all this money makes me berserk 
It all has to do with our sustainability

Old people are draining our Social Security
Not to mention the cost of our Medicare
They will spend us into obscurity
So old people you'd best prepare

As Commander in Chief I will send a bus around
There is nothing more to discuss
We'll stop at Disneyland, then head on down
I'll see you all on the bus

(This poem was written for a contest called "If you were president for a day".)

We All Live On The Same Rock

Everyone should see this picture of our earth
The perspective minimizes our girth
We should take care of the rock on which we live
Not take so much from it, instead we should give

If all people realized how small we are
It may reduce our differences by far
Should have cared for our home starting long ago
Take a real close look, there's no place else to go

He's a Big Boar

That's a great story about your pig watching tv
I was thinking about getting myself a dog
Then a friend said he had a pig for sale with no legs
So I got the pig instead and I call him "Ground Hog" 

You might think that mobility would be a problem
It's not really, he just rolls everywhere
I like to take him along when I jog downtown
So I can watch all the people stare

He loves to ride in the back of my pig-up truck
He'll raise his head up and look all around
I sometimes drive him out to the farm
So he can squeal at the fine swine that abound

He likes to watch old Chuck Norris movies
Maybe I should have named him "Pork Chop"
He likes for me to fix some hog pop corn
And go get some ice cream from the Stop N Slop

Compared to owning a lively puppy
Ground Hog is really a big boar
But he's always there for me though
And that's really what I got him for

(This poem was written for a contest utilizing the word "pig".)